Excuses, Excuses
by TheBigCat
Summary: I have a really good reason for not being at school. Probably.


_This was my actual excuse for not going to school on the the 3rd of December, 2014. The actual reason? I was sick. I hope you like it._

* * *

Dear Phoebe,

I wasn't at school today. You know that much. I apologize in advance for all the tears and strife that must have followed when you all realized that I was gone, and perhaps dying somewhere out in the snow. Or, since we all live in Australia, perhaps you thought I was dying in the desert, which is entirely illogical. Oh well.

Anyway.

Long story short, not dead!

To expand on this, I was slightly busy today with a friend of mine. You'd like her, I think. She's snarky and sarcastic, and keeps making demeaning comments directed towards me, or the human race in general.

On second thoughts, I'm going to take steps to ensure you never meet. I don't think the universe (or me) could take it.

So, my friend's name is Romanadvoratrelundar. It's a bit of a mouthful, which is why I usually call her Romana (Ro-mah-nah) or Fred, which she prefers for some reason. She has a robot dog, as well, which is called K-9. He's pretty cool as well, but he keeps calling me 'Mistress' which I cannot stand. If you don't understand why not, imagine being called that at least once a minute. "Mistress, I have collected the sample!" "Affirmative, Mistress!" "That is illogical, Mistress!"

Hm. So, moving on. We were with another mutual friend whose name I am withholding because of how mad we are at him currently. I'll explain later. All you need to know about him is that he's smug, condenscing, superior-sounding, and has a multicolored scarf that is way too long to be safe. He also has a time machine, but that isn't exactly the most important thing. Also, he keeps offering us Jelly Babies.

Right, I've been rambling for quite a while, haven't I? I tend to do that a lot, which you already know from school and stuff. Onto the reason why I wasn't at school.  
I was, in fact, planning to go to school. I had my uniform and everything on, and my lunch packed! I was waiting at the door for Mum to hurry up. And then the friend who shall not be named landed his stupid time machine in the back garden (well, crash landed, mostly), stuck his head out, and offered me a jelly baby, which I took. Then Romana pushed him back inside and asked me if I'd like to help stop the world from collapsing.

...well, of course I said yes! They have a time machine, for God's sake! They could get me back five minutes before I left! That's what I thought, anyway. I quickly changed clothes (jeans and a T-shirt, thanks for asking) and ran inside their machine. And then we set off.

Romana explained to me that a bunch of aliens known as Sontarans were trying to mine the core of the Earth for materials. (I have no idea what they could possibly get out of it. Maybe lava or something.) This would be just a quick little mission to stop the Earth from collapsing. Nothing special.

Our unnamed friend who is still in disgrace got us to the Sontaran base fairly quickly, and we snuck in. Which was no easy feat. Remember, the unnamed friend was wearing a scarf that was several feet long, and Romana has been known to have a bit of an eccentric fashion sense, plus our little metal robot dog too. And Sontarans look like overcooked potatoes in full-body armor suits. We made it to the control center of the place, and Romana worked on shutting down the machines. She's good at that sort of stuff.  
Long story short, she did it.

Then the Sontarans started to blast their way into the control room that we had barricaded, so Romana picked up K-9 and we ran for it, all in seperate directions. I found a good hiding space behind some computer terminals, and I'm not quite sure where Romana and Unnamed Friend went. I know they didn't get caught, which is more than can be said for me.

Yep, that's right. They found me. Mostly because I was using Monet's style of hiding. (You do remember that, don't you Phoebe? Yeah, I thought so...) So, yada yada yada, got captured, charged with treason despite the fact that I'm not a baked potato in a suit, and sentenced to excecution...

Romana has a really good sense of timing. She had the perfect distraction. She stole our other friend's scarf, and used it as a lasso. She yanked a couple of Sontarans off their feet, caused chaos, and I ran for it. Romana had to leave the lasso-scarf behind. And now, I will be able to tell you why I'm so mad at my other friend.

It was the perfect distraction, you know? We could have got away easily, no fuss. But the other unnamed friend apparantly couldn't bear to be without his beloved scarf, and ran back to get it, risking our lives in the process.

Yep, that's right. I could have _died_ over a _scarf._

It sounds ridiculous when I put it like that.

After a daring fight scene that I don't feel like writing out, mainly because I'm lazy, we made it back to the time machine, and Romana and unnamed annoying friend dropped me home.

Now, the thing you have to understand here, is that Time isn't a progression from cause to effect. It's not a line, which is something that all history teachers as well as Facebook get wrong. In fact, from a non-linear, non-subjective view, Time is more like... a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

Yeah, that sentence got away from me a bit. But the important thing is that I knew where it started. And... I think you get the point. Back to the actual events that happened.

They dropped me back home at 2.30pm in the afternoon, not 8.30am.

I hate them so much.

On the plus side, I saved the world, teased Romana a lot, and got a few jelly babies.

On the minus side, Mrs P is going to murder me.

Oh, well.

~Kitty


End file.
